Collecting Madwoman:
Lisa Matson

Lisa's obsession with My Little Ponies started innocently while she was living in England. A friend was an avid collector and had asked her to look out for them. She bought him a couple, but they were ones he already had, so she kept them, and they kind of grew on her. After a while this friend decided to get rid of his collection (he found that girls coming over to his house tended to find it a little bizarre). He did this ceremoniously by throwing them all at the Sex Pistols playing their first reformed show.

But Lisa hung on to her pony companions, gradually picking up a few more here and there. She didn't really start collecting them in force until earlier this year. I remember the fateful day when she proudly announced, "Look what I got today!" and pulled from her bag a pony wearing four tiny roller skates. (The skates actually work and can go on any regular-sized MLP).

Your typical MLP is a slightly scary creature: a sickeningly sweet pastel-hued body combined with a flowing mane and tail, made of that Barbie-type doll hair, in a complementary pastel tone, and a face with a sweet, dumb expression (with the biggest goo-goo-est eyes you ever saw). Each pony also has some sort of design stamped on its butt—musical instruments, bows, stars, even scented designs of food items like ice cream cones and cake. Between the different colors and designs alone, there are enough to make collectors go crazy.

But there are also countless variations on the basic MLP theme. There are baby ponies (regular and extra-tiny newborns), large-sized ponies, ponies with spinning tails, fuzzy ponies, glitter ponies, ponies that are unicorns, ponies with wings, and many more. Perhaps the cream of the crop (and a favorite of Lisa's) is the talking MLP. This precious creature says three things (need a pony say more?) in a tiny, high-pitched voice: "I love you!" "Comb my hair!" and best of all, "I'm pretty!" Rumor has it there's a Spanish-speaking pony out there, but this has eluded Lisa thus far.

There are also pony accessories in Lisa's collection, ranging from the above-mentioned roller skates to playpens and diapers (for the babies) and ridiculous pony clothing (prom dresses, leg warmers, etc.). Most of these clothing items are for girls, since that's what most of the ponies are, but Lisa says the boy clothes (for the "Big Brother Ponies") like sailor suits or cowboy outfits are the best.

As if all that wasn't enough to drive a normal person insane, there is also an assortment of houses and dioramas for the ponies. Lisa is proud to own her very own School of Dance—a dance studio with mirrored walls and areas where the ponies actually spin around and dance. Another prized item is the Poof-n-Puff Perfume Palace, a big perfume bottle about one foot high made of clear pink plastic, in which one pony stands and looks in the mirror. ("There's a lot of looking in the mirror associated with the ponies," notes Lisa.) Another pony housing item is the baby nursery, with pink and blue sides, a bottle for a front door, and a safety pin handle. Although it's tempting, I will refrain from speculating about the drug use of the designers of these pony habitats.

You may think Lisa is relatively alone in this pony madness, but like anything else you would think is too silly or weird for people to get obsessed with, MLPs have attracted legions of collectors. Lisa's even gotten a bunch of stuff over the internet, where you can also find Dream Valley—the "ultimate guide to collecting My Little Pony." Let's face it, if it exists, there are probably people collecting it, and My Little Ponies are clearly no exception!